Author Archives: Jeremy Denk

Brahms does Jenny Craig

Oh, Brahms.  I must tell you I’m on the train, and I’m not happy about it.  A man with incredible curly-whorly bedhead is sitting right in front of me and at least I hope that my bedhead cannot be that bad, can it?  A certain conductor—not a train conductor!—floated into town this last weekend and […]

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Toast to a Diaper

I was sitting in Seattle, worshipping an enormous donut, slinging down coffee like an oil slick over my soul, when my eyes beheld an advertisement in the New York Times … Journey of a Thousand Miles:  My Story  … by Lang Lang (w/ David Ritz) You can pick up your own copy here.  Now, I […]

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Schubertt (sic)

Airport, luggage, dawn. Desolate lanes of structure, sleeping planes like sorrowful birds, vans vrooming out of the darkness towards lonely kiosks. I boarded the bus. I had just settled myself in my seat, when a woman deposited two two-year-old boys opposite me: they swayed there, it seemed to me, like two jiggly jello molds. Aww. […]

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Caption Contest

I besat myself in front of the irradiating monster, and invoked its mysterious POWER button. Flicker, flicker … “I always thought yogurt was just yogurt,” said Jamie Lee Curtis, “until I did some serious reading in the yogurt aisle.” In search of similarly penetrating wisdom, I left the television’s radius and found myself at the […]

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