Injustice

Some good friends of mine are heading out today to Laramie, Wyoming to play a concert. I have never played there, which really doesn’t seem quite fair, for obvious reasons:

There once was a pianist named Jeremy
Who flew out to give concerts in Laramie
But as he sat down to play
A rip at his rear made him say
“My buttocks are really quite bare, Ah me!”

Apologies. Real post later. It seems to me the first two lines are pretty much set; if you come up with any better conclusions, please let me know.

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14 Comments

  1. Matthew
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 9:07 am | Permalink

    There once was a pianist named Jeremy
    Who flew out to give concerts in Laramie.
    “My fine Les Adieux
    Made the meadowlarks coo
    But the bison just stand there and stare at me.”

  2. Jeremy Denk
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 9:15 am | Permalink

    Bravo.

  3. Chris
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 12:31 pm | Permalink

    Kudos to Matthew.

    For inspiration, the one and only limerick that has ever adhered to my brain:

    As Titian was mixing rose madder
    His model stood nude on a ladder.
    Her position, to Titian,
    Suggested coition.
    So he climbed up the ladder and had her.

  4. Language Lover
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 3:02 pm | Permalink

    I was worried that my attempt was too risqué, but after Chris’s post…

    There once was a pianist named Jeremy
    Who flew out to give concerts in Laramie
    Where the fan who was smartest
    Said, with a wink at the artist,
    “Come here, and I’ll let you take care of me…”

  5. hari
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 4:53 pm | Permalink

    there once was a pianist named jeremy

    who flew out to give concerts in laramie

    he sat down to play on that quite lovely day

    but couldn’t because he didn’t have coffee.

  6. Matthew
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 6:01 pm | Permalink

    I think Language Lover wins (although Hari’s is so true-to-life that it hurts like a withdrawl migraine), but I’ll throw in one more, as long as we’re going all PG-13….

    There once was a pianist named Jeremy
    Who flew out to give concerts in Laramie.
    A girl from Cheyenne
    Took one look at his span
    And remarked, “I think that boy should marry me.”

  7. hari
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 7:14 pm | Permalink

    that was too adorable for words matthew.

  8. Darren Mallory
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 7:34 pm | Permalink

    Hi,

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  9. Anonymous
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 8:56 pm | Permalink

    There once was a pianist named Jeremy
    Who flew out to give concerts in Laramie
    Where the fan who was smartest
    Said, with a wink at the artist:
    “Enjoy our homophobic little Wyoming corner”

  10. Anonymous
    Posted September 21, 2006 at 10:22 pm | Permalink

    There once was a pianist named Jeremy
    Who flew out to give concerts in Laramie.
    As he flew over town,
    He started to frown,
    And thought,”This place is too small for a talent like me!!!!”

  11. Language Lover
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 12:11 am | Permalink

    Thank you, Matthew. I rather liked your bison myself. 🙂 Here’s another one:

    There once was a pianist named Jeremy
    Who flew out to give concerts in Laramie.
    Such passion he wrought
    More music they sought
    So the next year they got Neeme Järvi.

    (How often does one get the opportunity to use “Neeme Järvi” in a limerick? 😀 )

  12. Claire
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 2:57 pm | Permalink

    There once was a pianist named Jeremy
    Who flew out to give concerts in Laramie
    He tickles the keys
    Oh my, what a tease!
    “Oh hun, won’t you come home with me?”

    hehehe 😛

  13. Anonymous
    Posted September 22, 2006 at 9:16 pm | Permalink

    There once was a pianist named Jeremy
    Who flew out to give concerts in Laramie.
    Said he,”I hope they like Bach; if they do, I’m a lock. And if not, I’ll pull out the Debussy!”

  14. Jeremy Denk
    Posted September 23, 2006 at 9:39 am | Permalink

    I’m so touched by all of your efforts.

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